A Song....A Prayer

 

These are the lyrics of a song I first heard a couple of weeks ago.  God is using it to speak to me.  I feel like each time I hear it or I read the words, I get something else.  I pray it speaks to you as well.  I pray that Jesus touches each of you in a special way, that His Words come alive for you.  I pray they would not just be words that seem pretty or inspirational but that He would put in you a desire to love His way.  <><

 

I pray this for each of you as I pray it for me.  I am not able to love in this way yet.  Not all the time.  Perhaps I will never quite be there but I pray earnestly, desperately that The Lord will change my heart and get me one step closer to having His heart each day.

 

^"4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."  - 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 

 

"Love will Never Fail" 

   written by Devon Graves 
   sung by Mosaic

 

"I wanna love without saying a word,

 without wearing a mask,

 without building a wall.

 

 Shouting does not guarantee you are heard

 the words burn in the atmosphere as they fall.

 

 True love has no defense

 it can not stand at an arm's length or sit on the fence

it wades into the fray to take a bullet in the place of the one that is holding the gun.

 

Love is patient

it holds on tight when the train derails

 

Love hopes all things, bears all things, believes all things

Love never fails.

 

I wanna love without guarding myself

without strapping on armor or wielding a sword

to lay down defenseless, believing the best

not keeping track of who's winning, who's lost or who's scored.

 

True love is kind

it does not tally when it has been wronged or maligned

It knows it's closest friends will betray and it stands by them faithfully anyway.

 

Love is Patient

it holds on tight when the train derails

Love hopes all things, bears all things, believes all things

Love never fails.

 

Love endures

it stands firm in the rain, the wind and the hail

Love will never give up; love will never fail.

 

Faith, hope and love will abide

Faith, hope and love will abide

prophesy will pass away

Language and knowledge will pass away

but faith, hope and love will abide.

 

I wanna love without saying a syllable

trusting my actions to speak on my part

behavior is louder than that which is audible

revealing most clearly the state of the heart.

 

 

 

In case you would like to listen to their music...their web site is http://www.mosaicworship.com/

Just Do It.

Man, God is really dealing with some stuff in me and He continues to speak and there is something in me that keeps being stubborn and needs to break.  We all go through dry seasons, even hard seasons when no matter how much we KNOW, we just don't GET IT.  Or maybe we GET IT but we can't seems to FEEL IT.

I pray that you push through and seek Him today regardless of how you may be feeling.

Who God is does not depend on how we feel. God is God ALL the time.  He is faithful, just, gracious, merciful, loving, powerful, loving, all knowing, ever present.  He knew you before you were born and He knows when you will breathe your last and after that He Will still be there.

Trust Him.  Seek Him.

One way to seek Him and love Him is to intercede for others, like this devotional says especially those whom we may not particularly care for in our human-ness.  Turn all distractions off, push through the wall and pray pray pray.  <><

http://www.wisdomhuntersdevotional.com/View.aspx?date=07/26/2011%2000:00:00

Baaam!!!

Why do I continue to be amazed at how good and faithful God is?

I felt blahhh and just reaaaly reallly low last week.

Then He (Jesusu) used a daily devotional to speak to me.  I shared the devotional with some peeps and God used one of those peeps to encourage me even further.  Baaam!

I remembered who I am.  More importantly,  I remembered whose I am.  I remembered that thought there are many things I can not do on my own, there is nothing I can not face with Him. 

Jesus has  saved me, He is transforming me and I have His Joy and I will NOT allow any lies to take that away from me.  There will be crappy days, there will be pain, there will be destruction but I shall grab on to the Hand of Jesus and He shall lead me through it all.

I turned my focus from how I was feeling to what I could do that day to serve God.  I did things that I thought would serve that purpose. 

God is so gracious, I definitely felt better the rest of the day. Had a lovely time at microchurch and woke up joking around with my peeps.

Last nigth we went to a gathering at church.  Worship was amazing.  I got waaay filled with the Joy of The Lord.  And the word P Mike shared with us....well, it was right on point.   Baaam!

Who God is does not change with how I'm feeling.  God is who He is All the time.  What Jesus did for me on the cross and my salvation does not go away because I'm having a rough day.

That is what I need to remember when I feel myself going down.  I am His.  He is mine.

"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me"   - Psalm 23:4  NIV

There is nothing "bad" happening in my life right now.  But the Yuck, the heaviness and the helplesness I was feeling were real.  You may have those days too.  No rhyme or reason to feel like that.  Remember Whose you are and that He has already won every battle. 

Not His yet?  Give your heart to Jesus today.  Want someone there with you to do so?  I would be honored.  Jut let me know!  <><

Thankful

One of my daughters went on a mission trip and came back last night.  I was excited to see her again, to hear the stories she would share, to hug her.  But I never expected I would feel they way I did upon her arrival.

Somehow it hit me  as I saw her that one season has ended and whole new one has begun for her.  I cried and my tears were both of joy and of sadness.  My kids and my husband are my best friends.

I've known for a long time that my kids are not my own.  They are God's daughters and He has  entrusted them to me.  But now, she is really His.  She is choosing to use her time and her gifts to serve God and love on people in His Name.  I could ask for NOTHING more for my children.

Both of my girls love God.  Both of them are bold about their faith.  Both of them are more concerned with pleasing Him than with what people think about them.  In his Sermon last night, John Lash quoted a friend of his mom.  I don't know if I will get it exactly right but the basic idea is - I would rather look foolish in front of men while pleasing God, than look foolish to God in an effort to please men.  That holds true for both of my daughters and I will try each day to also live in such a way.

Some one told me "you've done good with your girls".  Thank you.  But the truth is I have been blessed with knowing whose help to seek and whose hand to hold...God's.  People say kids don;t come with a manual.  Wrong.  God can be your manual, for everything. 

I know that as long as we continue to seek His guideance, to be in His presence, to do His will, to give Him praise.....we will find a peace and a joy that nothing else could bring us.

I don't know what my "kids" will do when they "grow up".  Vet?  Teacher? Doctor?  Photographer? Missionary?  Counselor?  Pilot? Mother? Wife? Secretary?  I DON'T CARE.  They may get a degree and they may not.  I DON'T CARE.

I want them them to remain in God's will.  To love Him and love others for Him.  I want them to live the few years they will have on this earth with their end goal being to hear God say "well done, good and faithful servant" when this life is done. 

15

Today one of my best friends, one of my teachers, one of the people God uses to speak to me, my first born is 15 years old.

I didn't believe it when people would say enjoy, because time flies.  And here we are 15 years later.  Wow.  That's not to say I am no longer enjoying her.  I do.

I enjoyed her chubby cheeks when she was a baby...looking at her with baby food all over her face as she tried to feed herself...watching her take her first steps...hearing her sweet voice making up words, then trying to say things we could actually understand (God made aminals!)...watching her onstage at school plays and programs...seeing her in the role of big sister...cooking with her and ending up white from throwing flour at each other while we laugh and end up rolling on the floor...seeing her start to notice boys...seeing her fall in love with Jesus...teaching her how to drive...hearing about her dreams to be a chef...now a missionary and a Doctor...

I am thankful for who she is and who she wants to be.  I don't care what career she chooses as long as it is the path she feels God is calling her to take.  I want her to have peace.  I want her to be filled with joy.  I want her to allow herself to be loved by God so she can pour the love He gives her onto those who cross her path.

Happy You day Alex.  You make me a better person every day.  I love you.  Mama.

Hope you laugh

So, one of the things I am trying to be better at is having consistent quiet time with Jesus.  In order to do this and not be distracted, I know I need to do it at the wee hours of the morning before it's time to wake anyone else up.

I re-started this on Friday morning, it was great.  Saturday, it was great.  Skiped Sunday (not sure why).  This morning I wake up, ready for quiet time.  Quiet time, right now consisting of reading a particular verse, given in a short study I'm doing along with my Micro church.  Then following some steps to really dig into that verse.  I'm really enjoying the flow of studying a verse in this way. 

Anywho...

This morning, Banana (our cat) decided he was not going to allow me to focus. 

He began his shenanigans by laying on my journal!  Not cool. So I gently moved him so he would still partially be on the journal but so I could also write in it.  At which point he decided he would bite the pen as I wrote.  Again, not cool.  That part of my entry now looks like my 2 year old niece's doing.

So, I took him off the table and put him on the carpet.  Which didn't do much good.  He quickly jumped back on.

This time he decided he would "hide" behind my lunch bag/purse and with big eyes (like the cat from Shrek when he is trying to be cute) peek at me from one side to the other and then leap over the bag and with both paws attack my face!  You can picture it right?  I know you've seen the video of the cat standing on the two back paws slapping the dog???  Except, the dog was me!

Ahhhh. 

Back down to the carpet he goes.  Before I can even start to write again, he is back on the table at which point , in exasperation I lean my head and shoulders waaay back as a sign of defeat.  Which he apparently totally understood as such because he decided to climb on my chest and lay there!

I had to surrender.  Darn cute stinkin cat!  So, I somehow cuddled him with one arm and finished my lesson with the other.

I know God has a sense of humor.  But really?  The cat to teach me patience?  Or was it to teach me that loving on someone, paying attention to them when needed should take presidence?  Was it so I'm not so "stuck on" having a list of when to do what?  Was it to show me that those little things are just that, little things?

In any case, as the wonderful God that He is....although I did not focus as I should, He filled me up just as if there had been no interruptions.  Thank you Lord. 

Short but sweet

A friend sent me a devotional from God's Daily Word and in today's message was this sentence...Chew on it...

We may lose some of the battles, but through Jesus, the war has been won.

To rejoice or not to rejoice...that is the question

My two cents...

In everything we do, we should consider what God's view of "it" would be. 

Do you believe God loves everyone?  Then that includes the rapist, the murderer, the terrorist, the liar, the gluton, the prideful, the rich, the poor, the wise, the uneducated, the gossiper, the worker, the lazy.  It includes us all.

I believe He rejoices when any of His children repent, ask for forgiveness and accept salvation.

Therefore, I also believe that He weeps when one of His children is lost to darkness and dies without repenting, without asking forgiveness, without accepting Jesus as their Lord and Savior.

I don't want to rejoice while God weeps.  I want His mind, His heart, His thoughts, His wisdom. 

Oh Lord, help me.  Renew my mind...every day.

Thankful

   I am currently reading "The Year of Living Biblically"  by A.J. Jacobs, which so far is NOT what I though it would be.  It is A.J.'s account of a year he spent trying to follow the bible as literally as he could.  I hope by the end of the book he says he now believes in God and that Jesus is his Savior, however for now, he states he is agnostic (definition for agnostic and atheist at bottom of page, in case, like me you are not sure of the difference).

   Anywho...one of the things he has tackled so far is prayer.  He mentions an acronim to remember things to focus prayer on A.C.T.S  Adoration.  Confession.  Thanksgiving and Suplication.  I like the acronim, easy to remember but I like my 4 better....

Love on Jesus. 
Say you're sorry. 
Give thanx for what you've got, who you are and where you're at.
Sit at the feet of Jesus and talk to Him about the needs of others as well as your own.

   No acronim, sorry.  L.S.G.S just doesn't roll off the tongue.  LOL

   Reading that made me think about the way I pray and what I pray for.

   I already knew this but it made me have a conscious reflection of the fact that I don't pray enough.  I think about praying  but many times my brain gets scattered and I find myself thinking about what I will be making for dinner or what I have on my to-do list for tomorrow when I should have been talking to Jesus about friend D or hubbie E.  (I only have one hubbie by the way, just being silly)  In the book he starts out trying to pray 3 times a day for 10 minutes each.  It made me think.  That's just not enough.  I want more.  I want to be in constant communion with Jesus.  Although I do sometimes do so outloud because it helps me focus, I know that He hears my thoughts, He knows what is on my heart.  He even knows what my tears mean even when I don't.

   I want to change the way I go about my day.  I want to be happy in the now instead of trying trying trying to reach happiness tomorrow. (something that hit me while reading "Way of the Peaceful Warrior")  I want to be content with where I am now while at the same time not wasting the talents God has given me and being willing to try something different later, tomorrow, next month.  I want my quiet time with Jesus to be not once in a while but every day.  Not when I get a chance, after everything else is done, but at an apointed time.  Giving it priority.  Giving Him priority.  I want my heart to be the heart of Jesus so that His desires may also be mine.  I want to  spend so much time with Him, that I start to think , act, love, forgive, react, talk....like Him.

I know, I want I want I want.  But, they are good wants aren't they?

Know what else I want?  I want you to want with me.

Psalm 20:4
May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed.
Romans 12:2
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

ag·nos·tic

   /ægˈnɒstɪk/ Show Spelled[ag-nos-tik] Show IPA

–noun

1.

a person who holds that the existence of the ultimate cause, as god, and the essential nature of things are unknown and unknowable, or that human knowledge is limited to experience.

2.

a person who denies or doubts the possibility of ultimate knowledge in some area of study.

 

a·the·ist

   /ˈeɪθiɪst/ Show Spelled[ey-thee-ist] Show IPA

–noun

a person who denies or disbelieves the existence of a supreme being or beings.

Boom Sha ka la ka

Just felt like sharing a funny yet  embarrassing story.  I was at the gym, (side note...when I started, I could do about 2 minutes on the eliptical machine, now I can do 30 on the weight loss setting!  Oh Yeah!!!)  o.k back to the story...

I was at the gym on the eliptical machine (yes, the one I can do 30 minutes on now...sorry),  and I thought I was coordinated enough to keep excercising and take a GULP, not a sip, but a GULP of water.  Nope, not so much.  Part of it went down the wrong pipe, some of it was still in my mouth.  I tried to compose myself and not spit it out or cough.  I thought I had it.  I thought I was about to swallow when suddenly the slightest cough just happens.  What felt like a small amount of water in my mouth went everywhere!!!!!!!  All over the machine, all over the book I was reading.  Yep, it did.  I grabbed my towel (thank goodness I had taken a small towel that day for my sweatiness)  quickly wiped everything down and pretended like nothing happened.  Did anyone see me?  Not sure.  I kept at it, finished my time and when I was done thouroughly cleaned again with one of those wipey thingies they have there.

Why did I just blog about it?  Cause it was funny and I still laugh as I think about it. 

O.k.  I'm done.   ; )

Just Do It.

First of all...wow, time flies!  I haven't been on here in 2 weeks.  Slacker.  Tee hee.  Life is busy.  Thank God for whoever invented planners because my planner remembers things that otherwise I would miss out on. 

Back to "business"...

I try to, each day,  e-mail something to the ladies from my Micro Church and a few other people.  It doesn't always happen, sometimes the day gets away from me.  Other days what I read just doesn't "feel" sendable so I don't.

Today, someone made me mad, hurt my feelings, irritaded me, over reacted (I think) and so, I didn't "feel like" sending an encouraging message.  I don't even know why that was.  Did I feel like I couldn't send out a good message because of my own emotions at the time?  Or was it that if I was having a suckish time I really didn't want anyone else to feel peace, joy, inspired?  Well, Whaaaa me o.k.?  Geezzz.

Love God with all my heart, soul and strenght (or is it mind, or is it both)  and love your neighbor as yourself.  Well, the person who was upset at me is my neighbor so are the people to whom I send the messages.  And love is patient, love is kind...love is not easily angered...love keeps no records of wrong doings... Ahhhhhh.  Man, the Spirit is SOOOO willing but the flesh is SOOOO stinkin weak.

Anywho...I did finish reading the message for the day and although I honestly wasn't quite "feeling" it at the moment, I sent it.  3 people e-mailed me back asking if I had picked the message just for them.  Wow.  I was able to bless someone by being obedient eventhough I didn't feel like it.  And God blessed me back so much more through the encouraging words in the reply e-mails.

I truly do not deserve how God loves me.  But He loves me anyway and I am ever so thankful that He does.

So...don't be a Whaaa and Just do it!  Whatever it is you feel called to do.  Whatever The Holy Spirit is leading you to.  It's really NOT about me.  It's not about you.  It should ALL be for the glory of God. 

I disagree

  So and So's daughter and son in law are having financial difficulty and So and So have put on of their toys up for sale.  The man who was telling us about this said it was a shame.  You work all your life, put your sweat and blood into it and then end up having to sell things off instead of enjoying them.

I disagree.

What a blessing that they have something which they are able to sell in order to help their family.

Why do we get so attached to things?  What would hurt me to get rid of?  Hmmm...I shall think about it.  I don't want anything to be more important to me than my family and I don't want anything or anyone to be more important to me than Jesus.  <><

I'll let you know what I come up with.

Who do I think I am?

If you're married, you know that it is not always easy.  It's not always "honey moon stage."  Your spouse will not always show love the way you think they should.  They will not be quite the person you thought they were.  They will do things that annoy you.  They will frustrate you.  But guess what?...it goes both ways baby...you are not perfect.  What?  Yes, I know it's shocking.  You thought you were so easy to live with didn't you?  Sorry to break the news.  You too,  have morning breath.

In all seriousness though, we're all messed up.          

A friend and I were talking.  She and her husband aren't doing so great but she wants to honor the vow she made before God and make it work. So she prays and she talks and she waits.  One of her questions to me was why should she continue to work to have an intimate, loving relationship with this man who she feels does not deserve her respect or her love.  Without even thinking,  the words just kind of spilled out of my mouth (thank You Jesus)...

Because that is what God does for us.  We are messed up.  We sin.  We fall.  We make mistakes.  We don't deserve His love but He gives it anyway.  He forgives us over and over and over....If the God who created earth, stars, animals, humans....and on and on and on....keeps taking me back...who am I to decide who "deserves" my love? 

We all come with baggage baby.  Only Jesus can free us of it.  Let's be humble.  You can not and should not try to change someone else.  You can and should,  ask Jesus to change the way you react to people and situations.  You can and should place yourself  in His capable and loving hands so that in His time, He may transform you.

Remember...1 Corinthians 13:4-7 love.

1 Cornithians 13:4-7 Kind of Love

 ⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
                                                                                         - 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

This verse keeps coming up for me lately.  Yesterday during quiet time I journaled about it. Unknown to me, my daughter, during her quiet time, wrote it down along with some words which God told her to give to me.  I just love how God tells us things and then tells us again a different way.  It's as if He is saying, "just in case you didn't get it when I told you before..."

So, yesterday I was asking God to allow me to have this kind of love.  I want to be patient and kind.  I do not want to feel envy of others. I want to be thankful for all the blessings God gives me every day.  I do not want to boast about myself but rather in everything I do, I want to give glory to God.  I DO NOT want pride in my life.  Ugly, pesky thing.  I do not want to use words or act in ways which may bring dishonor to others or to God. I want to encourage and edify others. I want to be a servant.  I want to " do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit but in humility [I want to] consider others better than myself" (Philippians 2:3)

But I must  ^38" Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation.[because] The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” (Mark 14:38)  and I can't just say a quick prayer in the morning and go for the day.  We must "¹⁷ pray continually" (1 Thessalonians 5:17)

Every day we struggle.  Every day we must re new our mind so that the truth of God's Word is there.  We have so many things fighting for our attention.  TV, magazines, books, stores, people, commitments, music.  We need to guard our hearts.  We need to tune out all other voices and focus on the one that matters...God's.

Holy Spirit, fill me with Your love an Your peace. Allow me to live my life in such a way that it would bring glory to God.  When I go home at the end of my days on this earth, I want to hear "well done good and faithful servant"  While I am still here, I want to love in a 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 kind of way.

Forgiveness

I watched a movie yesterday called "Amish Grace".  It made me think A LOT about the petty things that I worry about.  If you haven;t watched it, its a movie based on a true story.  A man goes into an Amish school and shoots several girls then kills himself.  That same day (according to the movie) a couple of the Amish elders along with one of the men who lost a daughter go to the shooter's house to speak to his widow.  She thinks they are there out of anger but they were there to offer their condolences for her loss as well as to let her know that they forgave her husband for what he did.

What?????  Wow.  Why?

Because God tells us to. God asks us to forgive others when they wrong us.  And when we pray The Lord's prayer, we ask God to "forgive our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us"

Unforgiveness is ugly and if left in our hears, it will take over and before we know it, there is no room left for love.  Unforgiveness does not hurt the person who wronged us.  It hurts us.  It can not undo what was done.  It creates a barrier between us and God.  It creates a barrier between us and other people.  It can consume our thoughts and control our emotions.  It can affect out health adversely.  It's just plain ugly.

There is one judge and He is just. 

I don't know much about the Amish but from what I saw, there is something to be said for living such a simple life. 

I am so petty sometimes.  I don't want to be.  I want to be quick to forgive.  I want to have 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 love:

 ⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Lord, mold me into who You created me to be. I want to lead a Spirit filled life so that my every step is directed by You.

Yes!!!!

In the midst of sadness and chaos, God can do mighty things. 

How do we react to adversity, to loss, to sadness?

Today I was blessed to be a part of a God-moment.  After receiving sad news, one co worker grabbed another and came into my office so we could pray.  Glory be to God!

Yes! Yes! Yes!

"I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
   where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD,
   the Maker of heaven and earth..."
                  -Psalm 121:1-2

We rech out to God, we look to Him.  For comfort, for strenght, for wisdom, for guideance. 

Pray constantly.  Pray fervently.  Pray expectantly.

Don't run on E

I was talking with a dear friend recently.  We have been talking and praying about things like her marriage and her children.  But until this last conversation I was listening and speaking under the assumption that her relationship with Jesus was good.  Sadly, she has now shared that she feels dry.  Basically, her tank is on E.

Huge difference.  There are many things we can not do on our own strength, nor should we try because the results will not be lasting, we will feel exahusted and the result may not be what God had planned for us.

In my own marriage there were times when I would tell my husband "I just can't do this (whatever this was at the time) anymore." "I can't take this any more." "I can't, I can't, I can't" and no, I couldn't.  On my own strenght I could not be the wife or mother that God created me to be.  But Jesus could do it through me.  He has done it.  He keeps doing it. 

But I have to refill my tank.  Otherwise, there is nothing worthy there for me to give.

So that takes us to how we fill our tank...We spend time alone with God.  We find a spot where we can talk to Him, where we can be still and listen to Him, where we can read and meditate on His Word, where we can journal,  where we can crank up the worship music and sing for Him, dance for Him, weep at the thought of how awesome His love for us is. 

Do we always feel like it?  No.  But it isn't about feeling like it.  It's about doing it because He is worthy of our time and attention.  We do it for Him, but because He loves us SOOOO, He blesess us in the process.  We begin to hear more clearly from Holy Spirit because we are intimate with Him.  We begin to see people differently because we are so full of Jesus that we can't help but have a different outlook.

Life is hard.  Relationships are hard. They take effort, they take time.  But it is so worth it.  Best relationship you will ever have is the one between you and Jesus if you nurture it and make it a priority.  Not something you invest in if there is enough time left in the day after you do everything else but something you make your #1 priority.  Something you set time aside for.

Other relationships can also be great.  They can be so enjoyable, so rewarding.

" Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud" - 1 Corinthians 13:4

God doesn't just love you.  He doesn't just show you what love is.  HE IS LOVE.  Soak in His presence.  Allow Holy Spirit to fill you.  Your tank will fill up and love will "happen."

Side note:::::::

Ha, ha, ha...I love how God confirms things...I got a devotional e-mailed Feb 12 that I just read today...I read it after I had writen and posted this blog...here is a link to it in case you want to check it out...

http://www.wisdomhuntersdevotional.com/View.aspx?date=02/12/2011%2000:00:00

Sometimes.

Sometimes I find myself at a loss for words.

Sometimes I know what to say to another and yet have a hard time making the words make sense for myself.

Sometimes I need to hear from others.

Sometimes....always...I need to hear from God.

His Word never fails, it is never wasted, it is always true...yet sometimes we forget to go to it.

Sometimes we need someone to remind us.  <><

Me and my Honey

For Valentine's day my hubbie took me to Orlando.  We left the girls with my parents and took off.  When we got back, as I was telling our girls all that we did, they said "You guys are so cute, you're like teenagers."

What did we do?  We went to Universal and Islands of Adventure.  We walked around the parks getting on rides, pushing each other to see if we would trip, skipping steps to keep in sync with each other, sharing a slushy, taking pictures of ourselves...I could go on.  Point is, we had fun, lots of fun.  We enjoyed ourselves and enjoyed each other without caring who was looking or what they were thinking.

But we are not on the teenage stage of our relationship.

We have been married 16 years now.  During those years we have been through some wonderful times.  We have celebrated the birth of two beautiful healthy girls.  We have laughed.  We have enjoyed.  But we have also been through some really difficult times.  I will speak for myself because I don't want to put words in his mouth though I think he would agree with most, if not all of what I am saying...  I have made some major mistakes, bad decisions.  I have measured him by unattainable standards.  I have thought of love as something which it is not.  It is not a feeling.  It is not flirting.  It is not romance.  It is not all smiles and giggles.  It is not easy.  It's hard work.  It's a decision you make each day to pour yourself into a relationship with someone.  It is a choice you make to want to be with someone regardless.  In sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, with hair and without it, at 130 pounds and at 180, with all your real teeth and with dentures, when you want to be intimate every day and when it only happens once a month.

Would I have chosen to go through all the hardship we have been through in our marriage?  No.  Do I regret things I have done?  Yes.  But I am ever so thankful that God has allowed us to live through those experiences, to grow as individuals and as a couple, to learn to lean on Him for everything.  We would not be the couple we are today had we not been through...well, what we've been through.  Did God cause us to make bad choices?  Did he cause us to fight, yell and scream?  No.  But He allowed us to because He knew we needed to hit bottom in order to stop trying to drive our own lives and instead give Him the wheel.  He allowed us to because He knew that He would be able to use our experiences to not only bring glory to Him but also to bring comfort to other couples for whom we can be proof that it can work.  God can redeem any relationship.  He can heal any wound.  If you are someone who has known us before and after, you se ethe difference and you know what I'm talking about.

Hubbie and I do act like silly teenagers in love sometimes, and I sooo enjoy it.  But we know that the "fuzzy feelings" are just icing on the cake and not the main ingredient.

Some have heard me say that I can't pin point how it was that we went from disaster zone to peace an wonderfulness but I can say this...It wasn't until I pointed the finger back at me that things began to work out.  I can't an shouldn't try to change who or how he is.  I can't control how he reacts to things or what he does.  But I can ask God to work in me, to change my heart, to allow me to focus on the positives, to allow me to be the wife he needs me to be.  The wife that God created me to be.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud."  - 1 Corinthians 13:4

If you are single, pray that God would bless the person He has created for you.  Pray that he or she would love Jesus and make Him the center of their lives.  Wait on the Lord to bring you the right person.  Do not despair.

If you are married, regardless of the shape your marriage is in...make Jesus the center of your relationship.  Ask Him to allow you to see your spouse through the eyes of God, to love them with the heart of God.  Ask God to give you patience, to allow you to be kind, to take pride away.

I am so thankful for all God has done in our lives.  I love my life.  I love my honey.  I love my kids.  I love my God.  I love my Jesus.  <><

Our image

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
  your works are wonderful, I know that full well."  - Psalm 139: 14 (NIV)

Do I believe that?  Is it not in the Bible?  Is the Bible not God's Word?

I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  We are so hard on ourselves.  The world tells us we should look and act one way.  People in our lives put us down.  We compare ourselves to those who we consider to be beautiful, to be popular, to be smart.

Our image should be base in who God says we are.  Our image should be based on who we are in Christ.  We should be humble in knowing that we are nothing without Him and yet confident because He created us.  That doesn' mean we don't do our part to take care of ourselves, be healthy, be clean, study, strive to grow and achieve.  But it should mean that we are much more willing to look for and accept the things we do well.  We should encourage each other but we should also be willing to accept what we ourselves are good at. 

If you can write...write, and share it!  If you can paint...paint and let others see it.  If you can sing...sing, for the glory of The Lord.  If you can file paperwork, answer phones, organize...do it!!!!

See the beauty in others and see the beauty in yourself.  DO NOT say "oh, I'm not good at anything", "I'm ugly"  Ahhhhhh! I can't even imagine what it does to God to hear us.

We are all different.  Different colors, different shapes, different talents.  Don't be a punk!  take a compliment and quit insulting God.  He designed you!

Different Parts...One body

I love my church.  Under Vision and Values for my church it says:

"We see...A church where people feel like they can belong before they believe and believe before they behave. We also see a body with too much brown to be called a white church, and too much Hispanic to be called a black church; with too many kids to be called an old church, and too many wise ones to be called a young church - a church that models the variety of God's kingdom. "

I love it!

I am part of a Micro church (small group) which also falls into that description.  We are a bunch of women in ALL stages of life who come together for one purpose...to love on our God and love on each other.

In just a few months I have had the pleasure of seeing this group of women transform from co-workers to friends and I do dare say even family.  I have seen us reach out to each other for support as well as rejoice with each other over wonderful things Lord has blessed us with.  I have seen people go from complaining to praying, from hopeless to faithful.  I have seen someone completely new in the faith light up like a child at the same time that someone who has known God for decades is re-discovering His love.

Some of us are loud (yes, I would fit into that group), some of us are quiet.  Some of us are crafty, some of us drop our jaws when we see their creativity.  Some of us can cook, ALL of us can EAT.  Some of us are single, others married, others divorced.  Some of us have toddlers, others, teenagers, others adult children, others are grandparents.  We range in ages from 18 to...I better not say.

Al of us were designed by the same creator.  All of us are loved.  All of us were made to love Him and love each other.

I am blessed to have the chance to do life, not only with these women but with all the people who God allows me to interact with.

We all bring something unique to the table, we complete each other.  We can laugh at each other's jokes.  Hold each other up when we feel like we may fall.  Encourage each other when we are trying to accomplish something.  Stop each other when we are about to make a mistake.  But in the mix...Jesus should always be our center, our focus, our guide.

The decisions we make affect not only our own lives, but the lives of those who we do life with.  Whose life are you touching?  Which direction are you pointing them toward?  What would Jesus say about that?

"Things that make you go Hmmmm....."